McLEAY, Benjamin Alexander

Ben was always kind, sincere and insightful with his advice to me as a colleague and mentor. He never held grudges. He always gave people the benefit of the doubt. He was an optimist and appreciated every good thing life gave him. He loved his family a lot. I will miss Ben but most importantly, I will never forget him.

Ben was a kind and thoughtful person, and it was a pleasure to have worked with him.

I am so sorry to hear of Ben’s death. I had the pleasure of working with him in 2019 and 2020. He was a generous and friendly colleague and a caring and professional teacher. I value the time I spent in his company very much.
My deepest sympathy to his family and friends.

I still remember the comfort Ben gave me decades ago, in a time where I felt like a failure. His words dispelled all my fears and gave me will to carry on and be myself.

I will miss his laugh, his smile under that wonderful nose, his heavy loving hand on my shoulder… And the way he absolutely wielded it on stage – I have never seen an actor say so much with just their bum. I’m not sure there’s another actor in the world who could say so much without saying a word. He was something to behold.

I will miss The Beef immensely. I long for another hug from him. But I still feel his hand, heavy and comforting on my shoulder. I hope anyone who knew him does too. I’m sure they do. Any contact with Ben would be hard to forget.

I send my love to his family and everyone who was lucky enough to cross paths with him. I have laughed and cried all day. And I will do some more. He was so good at laughing. I hope you laugh too. He’d want to see us all smiling, even with tears in our eyes.

Love,

Gareth Ellis.

Dear Ben,
Thank you for sharing your dramatic talent and the stage with me as Sir Percival Brown in the Cav Rd SHS production of the Boyfriend in 1988. In the words of Madame Dubonnet: ” Though the years roll by and our youth is gone, memories don’t die, like a song, they linger on.” Your kindness and friendship will always be special to me as is your birthday gift of Shakespeare’s Sonnets.. Your Kiki xox

Ben was such a wonderful, gentle person. Although I did not know him for long, I was very fond of him. Freya, I am so sorry for the loss of Ben from your life and also that of his family. I know this must be a very sad and difficult time for you all.

I have known Ben for over 40 years, as part of my extended family. Ben was my eldest nephew and although our paths didn’t cross very often over the years I was always updated on his life’s progress by Anne and Richard.
My partner Doug and I have had several wonderful opportunities recently to spend time with Ben and it was as if no time had passed at all.
Ben was always ready for a big hug and a chat.
His warm, easy intelligent and caring nature shone through. He was great company even though his health was so compromised.
It has been a great privilege to have known Ben and been a small part of his life.
It’s impossible to believe he has gone..way too soon
But we will always have wonderful memories.
We send all our love and care to Ben’s family.

Although I haven’t known Ben for long, I am grateful I had the opportunity to meet him through my partner, Mark, and spend some time with him. I enjoyed his enthusiasm for his renovation work on his house; his bold and quirky colour and tiling choices. I appreciated his hospitality, his warmth, sharing meals and walks. He struck me as kind, funny, creative and generous-hearted and I know he will be greatly missed by those who loved him.

Very saddened to learn of Ben’s passing. We were students together many years ago, and I remember him as a wonderfully grounded and generous person.

I know he leaves behind many friends and colleagues who loved him dearly, and are in deep pain right now.

And of course his family, who I send my sincerest and heartfelt condolences too.

I will remember him often and fondly.

This is sad and sorry news. Sending love to Ben’s family.

Thank you Ben for sharing some of the happiest days of our little ones’ childhoods with us. We loved sitting in the playground with you watching the kids play. While the playground emptied after school, our chats went on and on.

The dinner parties, kids’ parties and picnics with you, Amanda and Lovella are precious memories. It was always great to share the stories and the laughs.

It was lovely to see you again in January and to know how happy you were despite your health challenges. You showed extraordinary strength and positivity. We will always remember you x

Thank you my dear friend for your warmth, wit and wisdom – be it sharing a laugh, talking father to father or discussing the issues of the world. Our catch ups with you and your beautiful family – Amanda and Lovella, will always be an important chapter of our lives – for which we are ever grateful. You taught me how to be brave as a new teacher and inspired me to keep going. Thanks mate for the hearts you touched, the minds you nurtured, the friendship you offered my family. A standing ovation to your curtain call.

I remember the day Ben was born in Crown St Hospital in 1972. He grew into a fine man who didn’t have a bad bone in his body. Naturally gracious, naturally kind. Greatly missed. Condolences to all those who loved him.

I’m so sorry to hear about Ben passing. I went through VCA Drama School with him and even did our graduate scene with him. His acting school nickname was ‘’Beef McLeay’ and I was The Bard. Half our year were named after sandwich condiments – hence ‘Beef’.

Ben was an incredibly funny guy who was full of joy, every day. Even before VCA, he’d had such an interesting and varied life, driving cabs, being a stockbroker. He always had a story that made us go: “wait – you did what??”.

I absolutely would have loved to catch up with him again and am very sad I won’t have the chance.

I still laugh when I remember the time we all auditioned for a new ABC series at a casting agency. Ben turned up after me and, having just received our 3rd year makeup packs, had used about half a stick of foundation on his face which pretty much covered his eyebrows and turned his lips skin colour. He always threw himself into everything 100% – even if we hadn’t yet had our first class to teach us how to use foundation. 😂

Ben was kind to his core – and I have no doubt the beautiful, considerate guy I knew him to be wouldn’t have changed, in that sense, one iota. Much love to his family and friends, who I know in more recent times would have enjoyed their time with that same crazy, sometimes kooky, joyful and hilarious soul.

Safe journey mate.

I had the pleasure of knowing Ben when he was young and I was his babysitter. I had the further joy of a chance reconnection just before COVID interrupted everyone’s connections. Sorry I didn’t get to see you again Ben.
You were always lovely person Ben who came from a loving mother. My heart is heavy and I know you’re leaving a big hole in many hearts today. Go well into the sunset young man.

Hey Benno,

Its impossible to express my gratitude for being your close friend since Cav Rd in 1987.

You introduced me to blue jeans, my 2nd job, Amway (no shame!), your closest friends (who then became my friends for life too) and many other things you found to be great.

You have had a profound impact on my life with constant encouragement and adventure always close at hand. You helped me when I was in tough times and provided insight to help me grow.

I always felt like a welcomed family member when visiting you, Amanda and Lovella over the years.

There are so many irreplacable memories of good times and kindness. We didnt quite end up building the catamaran together in 1989 but there were many other incredible adventures we shared. Thank you.

My thoughts are now with your family knowing how much this deep loss will affect them and all you knew.

I will miss our serious talks, your laugh and the harmonious sound of your singing to music – owning the melody with wonderful imagination.

I love you mate.

Sending love to all Ben’s family and loved ones . We were blessed to know Ben for only a little while, , but know how greatly missed he will be. May Gods love and comfort surround you at this sad time, and the treasured memories you shared give you joy in the midst of your sorrow.

Ben, although I didn’t know you for long, your friendly nature and infectious smile will be missed greatly.
Thinking of Freya and all your family at this sad time xx

Even though Ben and I were only in touch through the late years of high school and a few years after he left an indelible impression on my life and set a standard of humanity and friendship I’ve always hoped I could live up to. Thank you for being such a great friend and reaching out in your last few months to provide a chance to again say hello and goodbye for one last time. We’ll miss you.

Ben,
We will miss your warm smile, your big bear hugs and the positivity and calm you brought to our lives.

We live so far away in Canada but were so grateful to have spent time with Ben recently. He had a great way of reminding us that life is precious and to cherish every day in any creative way you can. and to love the simple things. We love you Ben. Ollie and Charlie send their love too. xoxo -Nic

Calm, knowledgeable, kind, assertive, earthy, funny, profound and loving – just a few terms to describe my Uncle Ben.

Ben, you were a wallflower. Quieter than others, yet when you did speak you exuded knowledge, intelligence, strength, and wit.

I loved being around you – I always felt comfort and at ease in your presence as you held such peace and composure.

And of course, I loved your big warm cuddles.

I remember when me, my mum Rosie, and Ben decided to go to Mount Baw Baw for the day to spend time in the snow, which was in fact, on the 15th June last year.

Rosie decided to playfully throw a snow ball which hit Ben. Rather than reacting with how he felt, which could have been shocked or annoyed – Ben praised her and responded genuinely: “woah, great shot Rose!”

I couldn’t stop laughing and I just remember thinking to myself what a kind person you were and how much I loved you.

If think Ben has taught us all to take joy in the simple things in life, focus on what truly matters, do things that make you happy, and most importantly, wear bright colours.

Ben, I am so grateful that you were able to spend your last year with the ones you loved, doing the things you loved. Although it has been a devastating time for all, I feel great comfort in knowing how content you were as I saw true happiness in your eyes and pure love within your heart.

I will miss you so much. And I feel extremely blessed to have had you as my uncle who was s uch a wonderful role model in my life.

I will love you forever.

May you rest peacefully xx

Dear Ben,
Thank you for your presence in my life in the late 1980’s and intermittently at times afterwards, and especially for being there with my brother Rob through thick and thin and then some.
I hope you eventually recovered from being the taste-tester of my dry , unworthy chocolate cakes I baked for you when I was 20 +yrs old , and you were a hungry visitor when Rob lived with me in Nundah. It was a challenge indeed to fuel your hollow legs and tummies in between marathon board games played ( D and D, WWII, Talisman). I remember the plan to sail the world in a home made sea craft with Rob, and the sense of joy and adventure, and fearlessness you both had.
I have a memory of you and Rob performing “ Wild Thing” playing air guitar at a Cav Rd drama night I attended a year or 2 before that, and have to say the jet-black fuzz glued onto your chests did look fake but the exuberance was genuine, and performance unforgettable. Years later I saw your performance on television on Blue Heelers, and it was intense!
Ben, indeed, you are a man who follows through from talent and dreams , with your plan and with dedication and grit. With the gift of perseverance, you flung yourself at the world , and also embraced us with discernment, gentleness, and regard , and so much care and compassion.
I heard news of your events in your life through Rob after your move away from QLD, and always imagined how challenging your life had been at those crossroad places, that normally shape and scar all persons. It was such a loyal and deep friendship with Rob , and your kindness last year you reaching out to chat after you passed a birthday milestone, and we shared memories through those calls and then contact while someone dear to you was unwell.
What a precious and generous man with kindness snd time, to show gratitude for small things I had done.
I trust your journey now is a blessed one where you are free to sail that catamaran, and that it will be one you may welcome others on board as your loving spirit wills, perhaps even with “ Wild Thing” playing on the sound system, but certainly, I hope with the best darn chocolate cake on supply, to scoff and offer others a slice someday.
Bless you, Ben. Bless your family and friends, and all who had the gift to know you.
May all their needs of strength, peace, and comfort be provided as they journey an imperfect world without you.

Bless you Ben, and all your kin.
See you there, friend.

My apologies for not being with you all today. I would have liked to be here for this. To console and be consoled. Unfortunately, my work and family commitments made this absence unavoidable.

For those that don’t know me. My name is Paul Pofandt (“pof-ANT”). I was introduced to Ben by a mutual friend when I was about 19 and he was 15ish. Back then I didn’t think much of him because I was still a teen and he was just some kid. At that age, 4 or 5 years difference felt significant. As it turns out we’d probably met several times in the past and didn’t remember it. We both had a mutual friend, Charlie, and had both spent quite some time together at a local Eungella (“yoo-en-GELL-a”. soft G as in gun) swimming hole. We discovered that connection much later on.

But over time, our mutual interests drew us closer together. We both had a fascination in Tabletop gaming – later on Computer gaming, that we spent days, weeks or months together with. Later on as we matured we had other mutual experiences that brought us closer together. Work, marriage, kids, home ownership etc. The usual growing up stuff. But this was all built on our early foundation of gaming and that was never entirely absent from our relationship.

We had many memories together. None negative that I still recall. Ben was always a very relaxed and supportive guy. The event that always come to mind most vividly is my wife and I, shivering, huddled around a 44 gallon drum repurposed as a heater, in the grounds of the old Boggo Road gaol, to watch a theatre production Ben was participating in. The combination of the unique location, combined with freezing temperatures and seeing Ben stripped nearly naked for his role, has cemented this as a core memory. There have been many more.

While our geographical separation meant that we rarely got to see each other in person, we’d still make the effort to stay in touch. We’d call and chat every month or so about what was new, what we were looking forward to and just vibe. If either of us were in the vicinity, we’d make sure we visit and say hi.

I was deeply saddened to hear of Ben’s illness. It’s an unfortunate feature of getting older that more and more of the people you know start falling away to illness or death. Ben’s passing hit me harder than most because he was the first in my circle of close schoolfriends to go. I’m sure there will be more but his hits hard right now. It’s paradoxical because I was also relieved to hear of his passing. Cancer is a terrible thing to have, and the agony of its development is something that I’ve seen in other family members. The relief – and the guilt I feel at that relief, is that it was at least over quickly and that he had awareness of its coming and could make something of the time he had left. Ben will now be in the company of other people we have loved and lost. From experience I know that the pain of loss will never really fade. But it will become familiar and bareable, with time.

I hope that that too, comes fast.

Thinking of you mate – Paul.

Dear Cousin Ben,

I’m sorry I couldn’t physically be there today. I joined online from the Daintree Rainforest in far north Queensland. There was so much love for you in that room.

I have such fond memories of you. I remember you telling the story of being taught chess by our grandmother. When I was a uni student, all alone in Melbourne, a visit to your place was a great comfort. Over the kitchen table, I remember your masterful display of how subtle tweaks in delivering a line created vastly different meanings. With great admiration, I watched your powerful performance in Titus Andronicus, in the unique surrounds of the repurposed Boggo Road Gaol.

Ben, I remember you as thoughtful, sincere, intelligent and kind. I looked up to you.

You are fondly remembered, with much love.

Tom Ward

I’ve just returned from overseas to learn of Ben’s passing. I worked with Ben when he taught at Trafalgar High School some years ago. He was a warm and friendly man who had great passion for the theatre. I helped him out when he put on a school production about the Great War and his enthusiasm and sincerity encouraged the students to perform well and enjoy the process. I remember him with fondness. My heartfelt condolences go to his family and friends.

Ben
Ok I was your sisters friend, but you were a way cooler brother than mine, thanks for the memories. Thoughts are with your family and Rose xo

I lost contact with Ben decades ago and just found out about his passing by accident today. I mentioned him to a work colleague who does some acting (his role on Cop Shop so long ago…and as Mrs. Crockett’s onion chopper)… So I thought I’d try to find out more about him with an internet search. To my horror I find this sad news. Ben was the type of guy who was great to be around. He livened up the room and the party. The world is a lesser place without him. Condolences to his family and friends.